the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize