I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
