4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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