Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
