so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
