I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Of course I have a pirate flag
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
