Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
