Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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