one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize