Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
