there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
