dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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