We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
