He kissed a someone with a penis
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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