When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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