He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize