someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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