i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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