I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
