can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
