She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
