I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
