somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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