My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
