Betty ford says i'm here all night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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