Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
