i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
