it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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