so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize