It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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