apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
