Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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