wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize