Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
