dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is classic penis vs brain.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
