I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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