I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I party with great urgency now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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