But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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