Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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