oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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