I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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