I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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