I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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