I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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