Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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