like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
