its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize