garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
