What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
