jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
