doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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