elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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