Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
