Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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