I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
Having Fatherās Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. āHey dad just calling to say I love you.ā While Iām navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Fatherās Day.
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