So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
where are my eyebrows?
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