I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize