Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
