Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
