This gyro tastes like lonliness
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize