apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she told me i tasted like america
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
