Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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