I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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