Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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