The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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