I don't have enough holes for all these australians
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
