sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There r osticjed everywhere
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
