Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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