OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
