Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
