did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
