Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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