I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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