butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize