marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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