So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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