O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
