Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can tuck mytits in my pants
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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