She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
