hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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