we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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