this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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