just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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